It was a year with many changes but my life is still the same and if i feel calm and peaceful,means i'm ok,so i can't complain....everything is under control.
 This year:
- i broke up with my italian (sicilian) boyfriend but we are still good friends and we are ready anytime to help each other.I really appreciate this and his care for me.He was always good with me so i don't care what people speak against him.Ti voglio bene Tonino!!



-i met and started relation with saudi guy,it was a great time with him,i'm happy i met a special guy like him,i wish he will not dissapoint me again but right now i have doubts about our future.




-i lost my best friend (she moved to other country).I think i should thank God for this gift because as i can see,it's hard to have  a true friend.Ufff i can't believe all the beautiful things from my life have started to finish.



-i visited several interesting places,i really had fun in my vacations..




-i lost my grandpa ,this was a big loss :(...i still can't recover from it


-i forgot to mention so many great friends i met in facebook and youtube,i'm so happy to have you in my life



   On 26 december,22:00 o'clock my grandpa passed away after his stomach or his intestin exploded.I didn't expected that everything will happen so fast because he felt better after he took the holy communion and he started to eat liquids.I gave him soup and orange juice with the syringe and i was happy for every swallow he takes because i knew if he stops eating ,he does not have any chance to survive.
 With 2 hours ago before him to die he had so strong convulsions,all his body was shaking without control.I thought he will die but he calmed down and he felt asleep holding my mum's hand.
 She felt asleep too,i was at PC and i suddenly heard a bang...I couldn't understand where did come from because in the house nothing was moving so i thought maybe it's from my neighbours.I thought at my grandpa too but i looked at him and i didn't see anything strange (i had light just from the candle and PC).After 10 minutes my mum suddenly woke up and instinctively put her hand on my grandpa to see if he still breaths even though she didn't think or expect him to die in that day.When she screamed : "He doesn't breath anymore" i got panic and immediately i remembered about that strange sound and i realised it was him.When i opened the light i saw blood flowing from his mouth...i couldn't believe that sound was from his body even though we expected that he might do intestinal occlusion because since 1 week and a half he did not go to toilet ( i mean pampers).No medicament could do anything for him,to eliberate his stomach..from this problem,he made other complications.
 He was sick of Alzheimer ,Alzheimer is a form of dementia but their death is caused by other disease,complications made by it.For exemple,they forget to go to toilet or how to do it because they lose their logic.People with this disease may have trouble remembering things that happened recently or names of people they know. Over time, symptoms get worse. People may not recognize family members or have trouble speaking, reading or writing. They may forget how to brush their teeth or comb their hair.
 In his last 4 years,he didn't know that i was his nephew and my mum was his daughter,he thought she is his wife.He was speaking with us but without to know who we are for real.They forget everything in 2 minutes,even when my grandma was dead,he realised she died just when he was seeing her but after he moved to other room,he was singing and acting normal.When he returned back to her dead body,he got shocked and threw down his hat..
 Since he got sick, all his life was a confussion,he didn't  know where he was or who we are.
 Many times he has stolen my money from my bag and hide them in his socks...he was like a kid and when i've reproved him ,he was so sure that those are his money and put his head down,sad because of my accusation and because i made him this "injustice"(to take his money).
 Almost every week he was flooding the balcony because he used to water so many times the flowers until the water flowed from the flower pot and all the balcony filled up with water.
 It was a hard time for my parents but funny and nice for me because i am a too calm person and i really can't get mad in serious for an innocent person.
 After he died,they regret now every moment when they got mad with him but unfortunetely now it's too late.
 We had so many strange dreams and signs before him to die and my dog cried so much with 1 hour before...

 Rest in peace my dear grandpa,i will never forget you(the person before to get sick) and the person after you got sick because are 2 different persons for me.
 I will also never forget your little hand with cut fingers :(

P.S : the picture is taken with few hours before him to die
video

  I wish everyone a happy Christmas !!!

  Something unexpected happened , my grandpa got so sick and he will die soon.

 He lives with me and i really can't put anymore a Christmas tree or to celebrate it...this is death,it doesn't ask you if it's Christmas or not...

 Please God take care of his soul !


  Today,as i use every 2 times on year,i went to confess my sins and to take communion.

 The power of the ritual of confession is overwhelming.When i'm waiting for my turn in the house of God,i can feel the gravity of  my sins so that my body gets so weak that i almost feel like falling down.

 When i am in front of the priest,standing on my knees and telling him all i have in my soul and all i did against God,it's hard to control my tears.

 After i finish the ritual i am a completely other person ,like a reborn child.I feel my body so light ,i feel i want to restart a new clean life,i feel happiness and no more weakness in my body...it's incredible how a person can change after this..

 Some think they can replace the confession to a priest with a psychologist.There is no comparison!

The confession can be done just by a priest and is not just a simple conversation about your problems,is a holy ritual that helps you to clean your soul from all your sins if you really feel sorry for them and you repent.

 Taking the communion is a ritual made by Jesus Himself,2000 years ago and since then all the christians repeat this in His name.



 What does the Bible say about the holy confession and the holy communion?

 James 5:16
"Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects. "
اِعْتَرِفُوا بَعْضُكُمْ لِبَعْضٍ بِالزَّّلاَتِ، وَصَلُّوا بَعْضُكُمْ لأَجْلِ بَعْضٍ، لِكَيْ تُشْفَوْا. طَلِبَةُ الْبَارِّ تَقْتَدِرُ كَثِيرًا فِي فِعْلِهَا.

John 20
21 Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you." 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." 24
21 فَقَالَ لَهُمْ يَسُوعُ أَيْضًا:«سَلاَمٌ لَكُمْ! كَمَا أَرْسَلَنِي الآبُ أُرْسِلُكُمْ أَنَا».
وَلَمَّا قَالَ هذَا نَفَخَ وَقَالَ لَهُمُ:«اقْبَلُوا الرُّوحَ الْقُدُسَ.
مَنْ غَفَرْتُمْ خَطَايَاهُ تُغْفَرُ لَهُ، وَمَنْ أَمْسَكْتُمْ خَطَايَاهُ أُمْسِكَتْ».

1 corinthians 11 "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." 25 In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. 27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord.
وَشَكَرَ فَكَسَّرَ، وَقَالَ:«خُذُوا كُلُوا هذَا هُوَ جَسَدِي الْمَكْسُورُ لأَجْلِكُمُ. اصْنَعُوا هذَا لِذِكْرِي».
وَشَكَرَ فَكَسَّرَ، وَقَالَ:«خُذُوا كُلُوا هذَا هُوَ جَسَدِي الْمَكْسُورُ لأَجْلِكُمُ. اصْنَعُوا هذَا لِذِكْرِي».
25 كَذلِكَ الْكَأْسَ أَيْضًا بَعْدَمَا تَعَشَّوْا، قَائِلاً: «هذِهِ الْكَأْسُ هِيَ الْعَهْدُ الْجَدِيدُ بِدَمِي. اصْنَعُوا هذَا كُلَّمَا شَرِبْتُمْ لِذِكْرِي».
7 إِذًا أَيُّ مَنْ أَكَلَ هذَا الْخُبْزَ، أَوْ شَرِبَ كَأْسَ الرَّبِّ، بِدُونِ اسْتِحْقَاق، يَكُونُ مُجْرِمًا فِي جَسَدِ الرَّبِّ وَدَمِهِ.


  I love golden !!!!

 Every time when i want to buy clothes,especially night dresses,my eyes run over golden .This colour looks great especially on tanned skin.

 I like golden for almost everything:
jewelleries,furniture,clothes,shoes,
decorations,etc.

 Even my eyes look golden sometimes,in  rainy days.

While green may be the color of money  gold is the color of riches and extravagance.
Because gold is a precious metal, the color gold is associated with wealth and prosperity.




































  I love so muchhhhh this movie !!!! It's a movie for kids but also for those who still have a soul child.
 It's about a little poor boy who lives with his big family in a ruined house and his dream is to win the golden ticket that can be found in the chcolate produced by an excentric rich man (Johnny Deep).He plays amazing !!!!! All the action starts from this ticket and the boy's attempts to find it.


  I don't want to say more,please watch the movie because i found it so hard for download and i hardly found a host site to upload it. (press 2 times the play button)

 If you want you can download it on your pc and i also have arabic subtitles,download both the file and the subtitles  then add the subtitles to the movie.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JGJIWLJM  (wait a few seconds until you see "Regular Download" and press on it)
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=URBW0JX9 arabic subtitles for download



   My wishes list for 2011:

   I know 90% of my wishes will not fulfill,but i just keep hoping.

   For 2011 i wish :

 -to have calmness and peace in my soul

 - to pray more

 -to find and start a serious relationship with a good man compatible with me

 -to try creating my own family

 -to show more love to people around me

 -health for my family and to see them finally happy

 -to heal my tooth that is sick since 9 months  and the doctor could not find anything good to heal it.

 -to try to save up money for the future

 I think is the first year when i don't want anything material....i just want peace in my soul.

 I feel in 2011 things will get worst about my family that's why i can't think at anything material.

 Yesterday i went to other city to slaughter(not me) a pig that i bought for Christmas,the photos are taken by me,i also have a video but i decided not to share it with you because not everybody has cold blood like me :D .

 It was a nice experience that reminded me about childhood,since my grandpa used to slaughter the pig and all the kids were hiding in the house with pillows on our ears not to hear anymore the scream of the pig.We were all crying begging him to leave it to live.Now,instead i am a big girl :D and i understand animals have been created for us,to eat them,to make our work with them or to have them as company.

  If you don't have religious restrictions about eating pork (as muslims and jewish) then you can eat it without any fear,but don't exaggerate especially if you have heart problems.

The pork is a normal animal,as any other animal and it's the most consummed meat worldwide .
 
It's food is corn,wheat and many people use to give them something like a soup made by water with  potateos and cereals,so it's vegetarian,nothing to worry about.

  Don't tell me it's a disgusting animal just because you've been taught so,it's true it's not a cute animal or clean,but who cares?The rabbit eats it's own shit but we still eat it...this was just an exemple.

 Chinese eat cats and dogs,vietnameses eat snakes,indians eat rats....i consider this more disgusting because these animal eat meat,even dead.But i still don't have a problem with it...it's just a difference of culture.

The purpose of the pig is just one: to be eaten .....the pork does not live in the forest,nor in the junge,it lives in the people's farms....it doesn't give milk nor eggs,nor fur...so it's single purpose is to be consummed by people,i can't find it other utlility.


  After the pork is singed,the skin will become soo tasty and tender.All the organs and the intestins are used for cooking.Before,in old times the bladder (same as vesica) was used as condom loool I even don't want to imagine...

The European Union(i hate it) does not allow us anymore to kill the animal using the knife.They give us a law so the animal must be killed using the injection with euthanasia.I don't know who really respects this law,because this(slaughtering) is our ancestral tradition.Again,the European Union has destroyed another tradition and tries to control every aspect of our lifes.


  For those who still think christians cannot eat pork ,i want to quote the words of Jesus Christ.
  By the way,we are no longer under the law of Moises that says pork is forbidden,so we don't respect anymore the Old Testament ,but Jesus's words:

Matthiew 15: 11 What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.
11لَيْسَ مَا يَدْخُلُ الْفَمَ يُنَجِّسُ الإِنْسَانَ، بَلْ مَا يَخْرُجُ مِنَ الْفَمِ هذَا يُنَجِّسُ الإِنْسَانَ»


17 “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.
17أَلاَ تَفْهَمُونَ بَعْدُ أَنَّ كُلَّ مَا يَدْخُلُ الْفَمَ يَمْضِي إِلَى الْجَوْفِ وَيَنْدَفِعُ إِلَى الْمَخْرَجِ؟ 18وَأَمَّا مَا يَخْرُجُ مِنَ الْفَمِ فَمِنَ الْقَلْب يَصْدُرُ، وَذَاكَ يُنَجِّسُ الإِنْسَانَ،

1 corinthens

 25 Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, 26 for, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”
25كُلُّ مَا يُبَاعُ فِي الْمَلْحَمَةِ كُلُوهُ غَيْرَ فَاحِصِينَ عَنْ شَيْءٍ، مِنْ أَجْلِ الضَّمِيرِ، 26لأَنَّ «لِلرَّبِّ الأَرْضَ وَمِلأَهَا»


Romans 14
17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit
17لأَنْ لَيْسَ مَلَكُوتُ اللهِ أَكْلاً وَشُرْبًا، بَلْ هُوَ بِرٌّ وَسَلاَمٌ وَفَرَحٌ فِي الرُّوحِ الْقُدُسِ.


Marcus 7
15 Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” [16] [f]
15لَيْسَ شَيْءٌ مِنْ خَارِجِ الإِنْسَانِ إِذَا دَخَلَ فِيهِ يَقْدِرُ أَنْ يُنَجِّسَهُ، لكِنَّ الأَشْيَاءَ الَّتِي تَخْرُجُ مِنْهُ هِيَ الَّتِي تُنَجِّسُ الإِنْسَانَ
18“Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19 For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)
18فَقَالَ لَهُمْ:«أَفَأَنْتُمْ أَيْضًا هكَذَا غَيْرُ فَاهِمِينَ؟ أَمَا تَفْهَمُونَ أَنَّ كُلَّ مَا يَدْخُلُ الإِنْسَانَ مِنْ خَارِجٍ لاَ يَقْدِرُ أَنْ يُنَجِّسَهُ، 19لأَنَّهُ لاَ يَدْخُلُ إِلَى قَلْبِهِ بَلْ إِلَى الْجَوْفِ، ثُمَّ يَخْرُجُ إِلَى الْخَلاَءِ، وَذلِكَ يُطَهِّرُ كُلَّ الأَطْعِمَةِ».
 
  They are called the brides of Christ,of course the term is used in a symbolic spiritual way and not a physical sense.These women renounce at having kids,having a family and living a normal life to dedicate all their life to God.Once they become nuns ,they no longer belong to the world,they isolate themselves in special places where they live together in prayer.Their food is modest,their clothes are simple,their sleep hours are little,but their time spent in prayer is big.

  Some people judge them calling them cowards because they leave the world of troubles and temptations for living alone,where you have no temptation so life is easier (as they think).But do they really have no problem and temptation? The temptations of nuns are even bigger than ours.They do not fight with human temptations but with a superior power which is the devil.

 A nun spends her night in prayer with little hours of sleep,her food is most of it vegetable ,she never does sex,she keeps her virginity until death.All these restrictions and the spiritual duty of having always God in her heart and mind can become very frustrating because the regret of a nun for her sin is much bigger than our regrets.She has an obbligation in front of God and an oath,she cannot choose to take a pause if she is unwiling to have her soul and mind for God,at a moment.

 The devil can make them think it's better to return back to their normal life,to be happy with kids,to enjoy life ,to feel the love of a husband.....but they keep fighting with their human  thoughts to achieve a holy and pure life in the name of God and after this life,a place in heaven.

 A nun must always have to be good with everyone and to help every human being.Her way of life has to be simple,when they make the oath they also swear they will live in poverty.Some nuns prefer to sleep directly on wood,they search to sacrifice themselves,they do not like to have an easy life,because you can achieve Salvation just through hard temptations.

 
 Not all the nuns are faithful since they are little.Some of them have even been prostitutes before to become nuns but they have repent of their sins and have return to the right path of faith.

 Some choose to have an even harder life and they isolate in the mountains,alone just them with God.They are not afraid of wild animals because they feel a holy person and they do not harm them.

 God is waiting us until our death.He can forgive anyone who really feels sorry for his sins and starts a new life in Him.Killing a sinner as some religions practice means to kill the chances of his salvation.That person does not have the chance anymore to repent and correct his life.

 God does not want the death of the sinner,He wants to save him ,that's why He is called the Most Merciful.


"She gave up beauty in her tender youth, gave all her hope and joy and pleasant ways; she covered up her eyes lest they should gaze on vanity, and chose the bitter truth."-Christina Rossetti

"Come, pensive nun, devout and pure, sober steadfast, and demure, all in a robe of darkest grain, flowing with majestic train. "-John Milton




What does the Bible say about nuns?
Matthew 19:12
"For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
12لأَنَّهُ يُوجَدُ خِصْيَانٌ وُلِدُوا هكَذَا مِنْ بُطُونِ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ، وَيُوجَدُ خِصْيَانٌ خَصَاهُمُ النَّاسُ، وَيُوجَدُ خِصْيَانٌ خَصَوْا أَنْفُسَهُمْ لأَجْلِ مَلَكُوتِ السَّمَاوَاتِ. مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ أَنْ يَقْبَلَ فَلْيَقْبَلْ».
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
8وَلكِنْ أَقُولُ لِغَيْرِ الْمُتَزَوِّجِينَ وَلِلأَرَامِلِ، إِنَّهُ حَسَنٌ لَهُمْ إِذَا لَبِثُوا كَمَا أَنَا. 9وَلكِنْ إِنْ لَمْ يَضْبُطُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ، فَلْيَتَزَوَّجُوا. لأَنَّ التَّزَوُّجَ أَصْلَحُ مِنَ التَّحَرُّقِ.


   For me is clear now,there is no way to deal with a muslim.And i'm talking about a non-religious muslim.Politic,Hezbollah and jihad were more important for him than a human..than me.

  I find it ridiculous to say i broke up with my boyfriend who always used to love and respect me after i told him i do not agree and support Hezbullah.
 If a good person like him became so fanatical,means something is wrong there.
 Jihad will destroy the world and muslim's souls.

 I know now i have to respect more the holy Bible and the orthodox canons and to choose partner from my own religion,with the same beliefs.You cannot have a happy life when you search to have a good and normal life with everybody and to forgive your enemies while your partner chooses to revenge on those with different ways of life.
 Eye for an eye and the world will be blind.

 I love so much arabs,no matter what religion they have ,but i think there is too much hatred and this hatred comes first from the islamic religious leaders who preach this.
 I am not talking in a bad way just because of this experience,before him i had lots of other bad experiences with muslims when i tried to have a normal conversation about religion.I never thought all are the same,i know there are good and bad persons in every religion. But now,I thought i really met a very good man,better than most of the christians but i got shocked to realise he has something else in his heart,for sure not the love.
 I am not a good christian and i don't considere myself nor a good person but i would never break up with somebody because he does not like my favorite politic organization. I even accepted he follows a religion that says lies about my Saviour.

 If you are a muslim and read this ,i am really sorry.I am just mad because people were right about what they've told me about muslims. I said No,not all are fanatical...and now i receive another slap from them if you understand what i mean.

 I don't hate my ex,i really care about him and wish for him just happiness but i'm really mad because a  good and open-minded person like him has these black thoughts.

 These days i read the news about a girl from my country,before she had a passion for fashion,makeup and beauty until she converted to islam and became a radical muslim.She also convinced her husband to be the same..before to meet her ,he had a free way of life. Two days ago i think ,the man exploded himself in Sweden in the name of jihad,after he got convinced by her.
 No comment...

 I just wish muslims could open their eyes and souls to love and peace and to search to have a beautiful and peaceful life.

 Quran 9:5, But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the Pagans wherever you find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem.



  I wish not to concentrate my post on criticizing gipsies,i just want to speak about they as persons and about their traditions,but it's impossible not to say also about their strange habits.
 They've been part of my life and part of my childhood...they made me problems and brought tears.I think every little girl who lived among them had their doll or any other object stolen by a gipsy.Before,when kids knew to play outside(and not in front of the Pc) we used to go out and play with the dolls in the grass,on a blanket.Gipsy girls were for us like a sort of terrorists,they used to  threat us with beatings if we don't give them our dolls or necklaces.

 Gipsies have some particular strange habits:
 -they use to steal and cheat
 -they like to revenge
 -they are very opulent

 If you did something wrong to a gipsy ,be sure you are in trouble and you might find in front of your door at least 5 gipsies with swords.A gipsy must revenge,otherwise he cannot live happy.
 They love to show their richness,their weddings are so opulent,their houses look like castles so that everybody can see how rich they are.

I like they remained faithful to their traditions and even if they live among modern people,they stil wear their long colourful skirts and long hair while men wear  black hats, long mustache and lots of gold(included teeth made by gold).The gold is the pride of the gipsies.A gipsy without gold is not a real gipsy.They might look poor but they have kilos of gold and houses that you might confuse them with castles.Of course not all of them,some still live in tends or poor houses and use the cart with horses..Most of them don't work and this is even more surprising when you see their wealth ,the first question that comes in your mind is "how did they do to have all this wealth?". This is their mistery along with the mistery of the fortune tellers.
They have the talent to guess your past and the future.It's not a lie,it's reality,they can really tell you what you did in your past and what will happen in your future,but how? With the help of the devil.They considere themselves good christians and they say they work for God but our holy book and most of  religions condamn this practice.They enchant demonic sacre words so they can have this power.They can even destroy your life,some people when they hate somebody ,they go to these witches and ask them to destroy his marriage or lose his job.If that person does not have a strong relationship with God,they can succeed.
  In a specific day,when is full moon ,all the gipsy witches go to a lake at the midnight and also in the cemetery and call the spirits to give them power.
 I recommand everyone not to go to fortune tellers or witches ,first of all it's a big sin,second this is a dirty practice,don't play with spirits and demons and third they will take your money until the last cent.After they finish their ritual,they will tell you to bring other hundred euros because you have big problems and they have to resolve them.If you tell them you don't have money anymore,they will threaten you that they will make negative incantations against you and you will get sick or they put you to leave your gold there.
  
 Not all gipsies are the same,there are also good and honest persons and very talented.
 I apprecciate gipsies because their girls keep their virginity until marriage,this is a very nice thing,i have never seen a gipsy prostitute unless she is a modern one.
 Gipsies are gifted with a singing talent,they don't need music schools or to

learn the musical notes,they naturally sing so nice !!!






 Me in my gipsy video(might be blocked in some countries):



 
   I was thinking to make a change of look and to return back to my beloved hair colour-RED.

  Before i had red hair( and also all the hair colours) but i had to change it because red hair dye does not last long.I feel red represents me the best.......mmm red is passion,fascination,fire and reminds me of fantasy stories. But it's hard to keep such a colour ,you have to dye it every 2 weeks and that means to burn your hair.

   It's also difficult sometimes to choose your clothes and makeup to fit with your hair.I want to dye it Titian, so light red which in time can become blonde if you don't refresh often the colour.

  I will take this decision after the New Year because i want to think well before to damage my hair again :( uffff i have bleached so many times my hair that i had to cut it short one time and i don't want this thing to happen again.

   I had it black then i radically changed it to blonde then brown then red then again black and so on.
  I still have doubts....

"Blondes are noticed but redheads are never forgotten."
"Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead."
"Blondes are wild, brunettes are true,but you never know just what a redhead will do!"



 Mafia does not forgive.

  Mafia does not have mercy,does not forget and forgive.The proof for this is the bloody end for a few persons that took my attention and touched my heart.
  One of them is a beautiful young model who died of hanging in a tree with her hands tied up and her bag hanged near of her.Inside it was a hammer and a nail.The cable with whom she was hanged was taken by her from her own house.For this reason,her case ended as "suicide",in fact the attorney couldn't find the criminals and they were afraid for their lifes.Nobody knows why she took the cable and the nails but for sure she didn't commit suicide but she was killed.She was taken by force in a car by 2 men and brought in the forest.She wasn't raped,nor robbed...they just killed her.
  
  First she was strangled and then hanged in the tree.Why would someone tie up his hands before to get hanged?

 

 The second case is even more emotional because one of the subjects is a 6- years- old girl who was shot in her house along with her mother while she was watching cartoons.

 His dad couldn't pay his debits so 2 soldiers (as they are called by the Mafia -those who execute the orders) came to their house and after the woman opened the door,they shot them in their heads.
 These 2 crimes took place in my country.

 Giovanni di Matteo is another kid from Italy ,victim of the Mafia.He was tortured for 26 months but he was finally strangled .Right after,his body was molten in acid to destroy the evidence.

 My mum had a very good friend shot too by the Mafia in Italy.

 Omerta is the code of silence ,the silence of the people who see,hear and know about Mafia's crimes but they keep silent.

 Omerta is based on fear,one sicilian proverb says :"He who is deaf, blind, and silent will live a hundred years in peace"-“Cu è Surdu, orbu e taci, Campa cent’anni “mpaci -”
 Speaking about Mafia's activities,collaborating with the autorities can bring you death.
 They can look and behave so normal that you would never imagine they are part of the Mafia. Most of them are very faithful and have morale principles.

Mafia is not just in movies,but it is among us .

"Through Force Of Arms, We Conquer"
 Mafia's motto
 

  Everyone of us has had at least one time in his life one best friend.I passed through this experience i think almost 5 times,i had beautiful friendships,we 've been like sisters but then the destiny  made us to separate by different reasons,but i never felt a loss.Everything  happened very natural,like a normal change.

  But about my last lost friendship i felt it ended my adolescence period because my friend was the last childhood friend, I don't believe i could be able now to find a new friend to become as good friends as i was with this girl.Not at this age....i think true friendships start in childhood or adolescence,after you finish university your chances to find a true friend become more low.

   Through her i  was connected with the beautiful memories of my childhood ,she was like the last sign of my  past as a child .

   We spent so many nights together ,shared so many secrets and suffered together.Before i couldn't imagine my life without her because she was always with me since we are little.I thought we will get married and we will go out together with our husbands and take care together of our kids ....beautiful dreams...but you never know what life prepares for you...

  Because she is now living in another country after she suddenly moved with her boyfriend,far away from me so...from now on our friendship will limit at 2 visits on year and in time our friendship will remain just a page of past..Taking your best friend from you is like separating 2 twins.You remain alone ,you keep all the secrets and your experiences just for  you,when you go out with people,it's just you with yourself,you don't see anymore that common face that makes you to feel like you are between friends.

  Our friendship was special because we were so different,especially in personality,looks and opinions about life.She was always modest in clothing but so crazy in her way of life,while i was extravagant in clothing and conservative in my way of life.She was the sweet innocent girl (in looks) but sometimes so cruel about life,while  i was maybe bitchy (in looks) but so soulful about some specific aspects of life.About our friendship,i know she was very soulful and cried if we had a fight,while i was the cold one.But now,paradoxally,she left me without any sign of regret.We are both Taurus,me on 28 april while she is on 24 april,i think Taurus have sometimes very cold blood but i will write about this in another topic.

  If i was in her shoes,to choose to move with a guy met 1 year ago with whom i've seen a couple of times in vacation and my best friend with whom i spent all my life and i have fun every day,i would have chose my friend because i believe in the name of friendship you have to sacrifice yourself....But this was my thinking 6 months ago,now i completeley changed my vision about frienship.I was too naive before,i realised in life you have to search for your own happiness because if you look back ,one day you will lose.If you renounce at your happiness or a chance that life offers you for a dear person,one day that person will have too the chance to choose between you and somebody or something else and for sure she/he will look for her/his own interess.This is what i think now but my heart still can't do this.

   It happened to my twice until now to lose a friendship because one of my friends started a new love affair,then,step by step,i've been  replaced by him.

  About my last friend,i know she still loves me and i love her too,i wish our friendship will never die even though is hard to keep a friendship alive through internet. 
  Uffff...i can't believe even my best friend has become virtual...

 "If one falls down,his friend can help him up.
 But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him"     - the Bible Ecclesiastes 4:9

  "Greater love has no one that this, that one lay down his life for his friends"  -The Bible John 15:13

لَيْسَ لأَحَدٍ مَحَبَّةٌ أَعْظَمُ مِنْ هَذِهِ: أَنْ يَبْذِلَ أَحَدٌ حَيَاتَهُ فِدَى أَحِبَّائِهِ.


  Every time when the month of december comes,i cannot forget about the communism period from my country and the bloody revolution for freedom.

Here is the little me ,scared,shy,trying to survive in a crazy world,always trambled under foot in the
crowded buses...that teddy bear was sent from Italy(risky expedition),you couldn't find something like that in my country in those times.

 For me communism has a colour,a smell and a feeling...

 The colour is grey because all the buildings had and still have this depressing colour .In our lifes were missing the colours,our clothes were dark,simple and boring,the products-all so simple designed..Everything for me was grey and boring,imagine for a Barbie girl is hard to live in a grey world :D ,we feel comfortable when we are surrounded by pink-that's our favorable medium :))

 All i remember about the smell of communism is the aroma of  bananas because it was a real joy to have something so "rare".We bought them green(not even mature)  and put them on the larder until they got yellow....but because i was so greedy,i ate them unripe wooow unripe bananans give you such a strange sensation in your mouth  :(( So many people remember about these bananas,it sounds strange but our food was limited at bread,eggs,chicken(in good days).
 Our shops were all empty,when they brought eggs or chicken people were fighting for them ,there were kilometer queues and so desperete people.The queue for food was the chat room for the people of those times,so many friendships had started there because practically you were spending 24 hours with the same persons......24 hours to procure your food mmmmmm...  this is the communism
 Our lifes were controlled by 2 tyrants,we were starving while they were playing with food.The sound of communism is the silent,people couldn't express themselves,they had to bend,they couldn't go to church or to have relations with people from outside.They brainwashed us and they tried to hide the good way of life of people from foreign countries.We couldn't have contact with them,if you had any relations with foreigners,you were taken by the police,they also took my mum to the mayor because she was corresponding with a foreign guy.

 My feeling for that period-even though i was very little i remember everything-was a feeling of unity,people were gathering together and help each other,kids were all playing outside..we had 1 or 2 TV channels and when there were cartoons everybody was in the house happy for that little time dedicated to children.
  I know from my parents that was a fear to speak  about your wealth or against the system with people you don't know well.There were so many spies working for the government who could play false.

 Santa Claus was also forbidden  because he reminded  of the birth of Jesus Christ which was forbidden along with the religion.So we celebrated another Santa on 31 december.So many churches had been destroyed by this enslaver....
 They taught people not to believe in God and stop going to church.

 I will never forget these memories,all the people who lived in that period has the same memories and we are united by this experience,the tiranic communism cannot be removed from our heads,has left us a plague that cannot be healed.

 Here is the bloody end of the tirany.The 2 tyrants were sentenced to death on the Christmas day- i still cannot accept this.



 Christmas does not mean gifts,Santa Claus and good food,  Christmas is the day when our Lord came to life,He came to bring light to the world.I wish everyone of you feel this magic day as it is for real.

 Before this holy day,we must prepare for it so that our souls be clean in front of God.

 First of all,we should  remove all the bad feelings ,all the hatred for someone ,forgive everybody and love every human,we are all God's children: the poor,the rich,the thief,the prostitute,etc. All of us make mistakes and sin,nobody is perfect so we must accept each other.

 Before Christmas we must fast.Fasting means to renounce at some specific food,to stop sexual relations and to have a pure period of abstinence.
 In orthodox christianity,we don't eat anything made from animals (meat,cheese,milk,butter,eggs,etc).Catholics renounce just at  meat.

 I love the sacrifice for God.You should try to dedicate 1 month of your life to give Him your offering.Renouncing at all the life pleasures it's your offering for God.

 In this period try to help the poor as much as you can and do many prayers.Choose your favorite prayers and leave them become as your daily routine.

 The Virgin Mary,because she loves people so much,she always prays for us if we ask her help.When Jesus was on Earth,He always did what His mother asked Him for.When people in need begged her to ask a miracle from Jesus Christ,she always  helped them ,that's why we pray for her help,because she is always praying for us to Jesus to have mercy,to forget about our sins and to help us in our needs ,so how can a Son refuse His mother's desires?

I will leave you a beautiful arabic -english prayer from one of my beloved arab sisters in Christ

O Mother of God our pride,
O true Virgin and Bride,
The ark of the covenant,
Fruit of the sweetest scent.
يا اُم الله القدوس،
يا بكر بتول وعروس،
يا تابوت عهد النعمة،
يا ثمرة لذيذة طعمة.

O heaven and paradise,
Who carried Jesus Christ,
O friend of Solomon,
O helper of every one.
يا جنة وفردوس،
حملتِ الغير محسوس،
يا خليلة سُليمان،
يا دواء يبرئ التعبان.

The blessed Virgin,
The hope of all Christians,
O pure and chosen seed,
Who's from all evil freed.
يا ذات البتولية،
يا رجاء المسيحية،
يا زرع طاهر مبرور،
يا سالمة من الشرور.

On whose prayers we depend,
Who teaches sinners to repent,
A light in the wilderness,
Undefiled innocence.
يا شفيعة في المؤمنين،
يا صلاحاً للخاطئين،
يا ضياء في البرية،
يا طاهرة ونقية.

With glory shining bright,
O Bride of the holy Light,
So dear and so precious,
So honest and gracious.
يا ظاهرة بأجلى بيان،
يا عروسة للديان،
يا غالية وثمينة،
يا فاضلة وأمينة.

The strength of all fighters,
Most blessed of God's treasures,
Tablets of the new Covenant,
To the needy you lend a hand.
يا قوية في الحروب،
يا كنز الله المرهوب،
يا لوح العهد الجديد،
يا معونة لمَنْ يُريد.

O blessed and pure seed,
O hailed and true creed,
O God's sanctuary,
Who befits Him in glory.
يا نسل طاهر مغبوط،
يا هيكل نقي مضبوط،
يا والدة الإله،
يا لائقة له في علاه.

O pure and beautiful stone,
Among flowers you stand alone.
يا ياقوت غالي الأثمان،
يا زهرة في البستان.

The meaning of your name,
Is on the mouth of all faithful,
They all say together,
O God of Saint Mary help us all.
تفسير إسمِك في أفواه،
كل المؤمنين،
الكل يقولون يا إله،
العدرا مريم أعنا أجمعين.


Silent night in arabic-By Fairouz



  I often hear this :" can you come with me to that party/restaurant/place-anything because i want people to see me with you. Lol

 This is what i hear from some of my friends.I think they have an image problem and they are not enough confident in their own persons so they need an accessory(that is me :(   ....I have one friend,he even tells me what dress to take . huh? I think he creates a scenary in his mind,inspired but what he sees in the movies,so he wants to look the same.

 I'm not affected  but some care just about this,they call me when they need a plus of image,but when i need them,they don't care anymore...

 I realised in society everything it's about image ,people stress too much about how people see them,talk about them,think about them...everybody is so desperate to be in the front ,to be admired,envied.We live in a world that the human soul does not matter anymore,but the outside (beauty,money,social position,relations,etc).

 I don't feel myself a museum piece,if they are using me for that,it's because they have a problem,not me...a problem of personality,a lack of something...many things i think.I know how things work in our society so i give them this pleasure ,that's what friends are for,right? They use me,so i use them too for my own interess.

 I felt to write this after i realised some friendships finished after we stopped going out together so all i remember from them is their need of me...that's all...need.

 I'm a barbie girl ,in a barbie world( fake world)....so true the lyrics.

  I want to rectify the title....Christmas decorations look,Christmas means really something else...don't forget about the real sense of Christmas.


 Orange palms?Orange knees? For me,this is past.I can have a very natural bronze colour using a self tanner without to look fake.

 All you have to do is to use plastic gloves when you apply the tanner on the hands so that won't be necessary to wash them.If you wash them,you will have a brown body and white hands.If you wash just your palms,your hands will look like you painted them and you left a separation line between the exterior  part  and palms.

  After you applied the self tanner all over your body (remember : put a small amount on the knees ,elbows and feet) use the plastic gloves and apply  a small amount on  your hands (included fingers,between fingers and wrist BUT NOT ON THE PALMS)



 

  For persons with white skin,i recommand EveryDay Glow SunDial Self-Tanning by Banana Boat: you can choose how dark you want to tan your skin ,it has 2 recipients: one with advanced priming moisturizer for a subtle glow and one with self tanner for a deep bronze.If you choose a lighter colour,the 2 creams will mix together so you will achieve a medium bronze.